


how truly bright you are

by rainbowinthesky



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, basically seb panicking about the internet’s reaction to his baldness, because he loves seb, kimi does, worrying over if kimi will still want him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowinthesky/pseuds/rainbowinthesky
Summary: Seb is left feeling very insecure after Googling himself and seeing the comments about his hair. Or well, what’s left of it anyway. When Kimi comes to visit him, it almost breaks Sebastian into a million pieces. Luckily Kimi is there to pick them right up.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75





	how truly bright you are

**Author's Note:**

> So. This happened tonight after I got annoyed with myself for caring so much about Seb’s hair. Yes, it used to be beautiful and thick. But Seb is still the same person, the same great driver and he’s still beautiful to me. It shouldn’t matter if he has hair or not. 💕

There is a reason Sebastian has never Googled himself before. And why he’d felt the need to do it now, he still doesn’t know. The tears prickle in his eyes as he reads all the comments, torturing himself by looking at the memes and the jokes. After what feels like an eternity, Seb finally closes the laptop and rubs his fists in his eyes. He tries not to cry, but it’s hard not to when he’s confronted with his biggest insecurity and then have half of the world making fun of it. 

Goddamnit, he doesn’t want to be sad over this. It’s so silly. It’s just hair. He shouldn’t feel so bad about it. And just focus instead on his new start with Aston Martin. Sebastian sighs deeply as he wipes his wet eyes and cheeks and goes to the garage to distract himself with his old cars and his old music. 

In the next couple of days, the ugly comments of the internet are still ringing inside his head. The ones calling him a grandpa, ugly, how people wished Aston Martin had not posted the video... it’s utterly crushing for his self confidence. And what’s worse, is that he worries over what Kimi will think of him now. Will he still want Seb? 

He hasn’t seen his lover since the break, with Kimi spending a lot of time with his family. They agreed to see each other in a few days for a nice romantic reunion, but Sebastian isn’t sure about it anymore. Maybe he should just text Kimi and say he’s sick or something. The thought of Kimi seeing him like this, of being rejected by him or god forbid, Kimi laughing at him... he couldn’t bear it. 

So he spends the next couple of days until Kimi arrives in total agony, his thumb hovering over the “send” button of that text for a million times. But every time he opts not to send it. Because as much as he’s afraid of how Kimi will react, he also longs to be in the man’s comforting arms. 

When Kimi finally arrives on a Saturday morning, suitcase in hand because he’ll stay a couple of days, Seb’s heart is beating heavily in his chest. He’s made sure to wear a cap though he knows there will come a point where he needs to take it off. For now, it makes him feel comfortable though, so he keeps it on. He opens the door for a brightly smiling Kimi and they give each other a quick peck on the lips before Kimi wanders in to his home like he belongs there. 

It’s nice, lovely even to have Kimi around again after so long. Seb has missed him so much and he hopes it’s the same for Kimi. Judging by his relaxed mood and the way he keeps smiling at Seb with love in his eyes he most probably does. But just as Seb starts to relax somewhat, the ugly doubts start creeping in again...Will Kimi look at him the same when Seb takes off his cap? Or will he look at Seb with a frown and disgust on his face? 

He doesn’t realize he’s closing in on himself until Kimi touches his arm and when Seb looks up, he sees Kimi looking back at him with concern in his eyes. 

“Are you alright?” the Finn asks softly. 

Seb nods, trying to smile assuredly. “Yeah, I’m fine Kimi. Don’t worry.”

Kimi doesn’t look too convinced, but he doesn’t press for it.

Even after they had dinner and it’s already dark outside, Seb still wears his cap. He refuses to take it off and he dreads the moment they go to bed. Kimi knows something is up, he keeps glancing at Sebastian with troubled eyes as they watch a movie on the couch and he’s asked twice more if everything was ok. 

No. Seb is not ok. But he doesn’t know how to start this conversation without breaking apart into a million pieces. He’s so upset about it and he hates that it’s ruining his time with Kimi. That he _lets_ the mean words dictate his whole life at the moment. The disturbing thoughts about Kimi leaving him when it’s revealed that Seb’s hair is gone is just too upsetting. 

Normally at this point in the evening, they would have already fucked at least twice, especially after such a long time of not seeing each other, both always craving the other so badly. But there’s a palpable distance between them now and Seb knows he’s at fault for that. Kimi has been looking lost all evening and it hurts so much to know he’s the cause of it. Kimi must think Sebastian doesn’t want him here, when in reality it’s the exact opposite. 

When they get ready for bed, Seb stalls at the bathroom door. The moment is finally there and he wishes he wouldn’t have to go through with this. He steps into the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror, his cap still on, and he sighs sadly, feeling his eyes well up. He closes them briefly and when he opens them again, he sees Kimi standing behind him, still with that concerned look on his face, but a tender smile as well. 

The Finn reaches for him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling Seb’s back to his chest. Kimi leans his head on Sebastian’s shoulder and peers into the mirror. 

“Will you tell me what’s wrong now, Seb?” 

Seb swallows and nods, a tear falling down over his cheek. It really is now or never. With trembling hands he reaches for his cap, but Kimi stops him. 

“Wait, is this about your hair?” Kimi asks, surprised. 

Seb’s eyes instantly shift to Kimi’s in the mirror, absolutely stunned. Kimi knew? 

“Yes,” he whispers, his throat closing up. Kimi kisses the nape of Seb’s neck, his hands squeezing his hips in a reassuring gesture. “How do you even know about the hair?”

“I saw the Aston Martin video on Instagram,” Kimi confesses. “What are you worried about, Seb?”

Seb has to take a deep breath before he can answer that. “I’m... worried about... about you not wanting me anymore once you’ve seen me and think I’m...I’m...” 

He closes his eyes again, choking up a little and he can’t continue speaking for a moment. When he looks at Kimi in the mirror, the man is frowning. 

“Think you’re what?” Kimi inquires to know. 

“Think I’m ugly...” Seb whispers. 

Kimi is actually starting to look a little angry now and Seb wants to curl up on the bed, hiding from the world. But when Kimi speaks, he realizes the anger is not directed at him.

“Who put those thoughts into your head?” he demands to know.

Seb snorts. “I Googled myself.”

Kimi smiles sadly. “Oh Seb,” he murmurs, kissing his neck tenderly again. Then Kimi reaches for his cap and Seb holds his breath. He squeezes his eyes shut, not wanting to see Kimi’s face when he finally sees what Seb looks like underneath that cap. The colder air of the bathroom washes over his head, making it painfully clear how little hair there is. He feels Kimi nudge him gently to open his eyes and Sebastian finally does so, almost shaking with the nerves of it.

What he sees in Kimi’s eyes is anything but the disgust or repulsion he sort of expected. No, it’s just Kimi’s soft eyes, smiling at him with the same love and want he’s had directed at him for years, when his head was still covered in thick curls. It’s the exact same look, the same desire for Seb still in there and it amazes him. He feels himself choking up again, but this time with pure relief and love. 

Kimi gently turns him around to face him and he takes Seb’s chin in his hand to make him look into his eyes. With his other hand he reaches up to smooth it over Seb’s head, smiling as he does so. 

“Feels so soft,” the Finn grins. 

Seb giggles, finally all the tension leaving his body and Kimi smiles at the sound and sight. 

“You know I don’t care, right?” Kimi asks. 

Seb shrugs as he averts his eyes. “I know, but it’s just...” 

“Fuck them, Seb. Fuck those people that don’t even know you. I _know_ you, I _love_ you, and I will always want you.”

Sebastian’s eyes shine as he looks at the man before him. How could he have doubted Kimi? He smiles brightly and buries his face in Kimi’s neck.

“I wouldn’t mind you showing how much you want me,” he breathes into the skin there. 

Kimi takes Sebastian’s hand in his own and leads him to the bed, showing him exactly how much he craves Seb still.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: [rainbowintheskyf1](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/rainbowintheskyf1)


End file.
